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Food Standards Agency
GermWatch Grubeye (2006) A largely unheard-of PIF from the food standards agency in 2006, this freaked me out as a child, which is why i remember it. DESCRIPTION: The PIF opens up with a woman cutting raw meat on a chopping board, she then puts the meat to one side. A narrator then says -"Killer fact, using the same chopping board for raw and ready to eat foods exposes your family to the perils of food poisoning." She then uses the same board to chop up some tomatoes (ugh...) and places them inside a bowl of lettuce. As she turns away to wash her hands, something inside the bowl starts rustling. The camera switches to a side of the bowl where we can see that the thing inside the bowl is some kind of green, three-fingered hand, which drags its middle finger on the bowl. It then crawls up the bowl and we see a giant human eye attached to the hand as it looks around on the edge of the bowl. It then cuts to the end title screen with the GERMWATCH logo onscreen. The monster from before (also known as the "Grubeye") walks in between the space in the words GERM and WATCH. The narrator then says "Keep your family safe from the perils of food poisoning. Germwatch, part of the food standards agency." VARIANT: There is a shorter version of this PIF that shows the Grubeye emerging from the bowl more creepily (the version above is apparently called "The director's cut") it also has the company website link at the bottom of the screen (This was also the version I saw as a child) MUSIC (Director's cut): Classical music can be heard on a radio, but as the Grubeye emerges, it changes to opera music and lasts until the end. MUSIC (Version 2): Creepy music from a music box can be heard, as well as some girls singing. It then disorientates into a violin. SOUNDS (both versions): We can hear the woman chopping up the food and washing her hands, the Grubeye rustling inside the bowl, the Grubeye dragging his finger-leg across the rim of the bowl and the Grubeye making a snarling noise. CHEESE FACTOR (Version 2): They used the stock "scary violin" sound AVAILABILITY: Surprisingly Uncommon on YouTube and Vimeo, seeming as though I've never actually heard a PIF reviewer talk about this PIF SCARE FACTOR (Directors cut): Minimal to Medium. Mostly due to the Grubeye's appearance. SCARE FACTOR (Version 2): Medium to High. The unsettling music doesn't help at all, the way the Grubeye is introduced in this version is also slightly creepier too. Salt Consumption Sidney the Slug (2008) Description: A woman holding two heavy bags of shopping in both of her hands walks towards her car in a car parking building. While trying to open the car with her keys whilst still holding her bags, she drops her keys on the floor and goes to pick them up. She picks up the keys only to find them drenched in a puddle of slime. We hear somebody say "Need a hand?" She looks up to find a giant slug (called Sidney) sitting on the hood of her car. Sidney: "Hand?" (He starts laughing) He slides off the car and onto the floor, scaring and grossing out the woman as he says "My dad used to love that joke... and now, he's dead" The woman goes to speak but instead only says "Uh..." Sidney: "He told me so much. He'd say: 'Sidney, stay away from fast cars, loose women...'" He pauses for a moment, then shouting "'AND SALT!'" The woman starts running away, scared, while Sydney trails after her Sidney: "No wait! Don't go! That's what done all of my family in, see?" The woman runs towards the nearest lift and presses the 'going down' button a few times Sidney: "But it ain't just bad for slugs!" The lift door closes on Sidney as he's about to enter Sidney: "Too much salt can lead to a heart attack!" He pulls his body out of the lift as it begins going down. The woman smiles in relief. Sidney is left alone in the car parking building. The food Standards agency logo can be seen in the bottom left corner, with a website being visible in the bottom right hand corner. Sidney trails away from the lift as he says Sidney: "Giant slug with a message here? Hello?" Sounds: The woman walking/running in the building, her keys being picked up out of the slime left on the floor, Sidney sliding off the car hood and Sidney moving Music: N/A Availability: Rare, can be seen on some YouTube channels Cheese factor: Sidney himself is extremely poorly rendered and animated, making the entire PIF look completely laughable. Scare factor: None to Low. At worst young children might be scared of the giant slug, but even that is unlikely. Category:Health PIFs Category:Food PIFs Category:PIFs Category:2000's PIFs Category:Unintentionally Hilarious PSAs